TWENTY THINGS THAT PARENTS

TWENTY THINGS THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH
THEIR CHILD:
1. Play a sport.
It will teach you how to win honorably, lose
gracefully, respect authority, work with others,
manage your time and stay out of trouble. And
maybe even throw or catch.
2. It is better to be kind than to be right.
3. Save money when you're young because
you're going to need it someday.
4. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher,
oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and
broom. Now please go use them.
5. Pray and be a spiritual leader.
6. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a
fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please
defend yourself.
7. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's
got to clean that up, you know.
8. Your knowledge and education is something
that nobody can take away from you.
9. Treat your partner kindly. Forever is a long
time to live alone and it's even longer to live
with somebody who hates your guts.
10. Take pride in your appearance.
11. Be strong and tender at the same time.
12. A woman can do everything that you can do.
This includes her having a successful career and
you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is
the key to a good relationship.
13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long
way.
14. The reason that they're called "private parts"
is because they're "private". Please do not
scratch them in public.
15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good
leader and others will follow.
16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always
a good idea.
17. You will set the tone for the sexual
relationship, so don't take something away from
her that you can't give back.
18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the
healing process.
19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My
daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me
spending time with you and my grandchildren.
20. Remember to call your mother and father
because I might be missing you.